Upset me lerh -_-

Recently, I am quite upset. I have no creative thinking at all (maybe I never have one). I feel that my job is munching my creative. Darius just avoid me from thinking�K My job just make me lazy to think. It was probably the first time people (my boss) said to the work I have done looks carp and cheap. I can say nothing because it looks very bad! But I feel that, if I keep working with him , such kind of shit will still coming. I feel extremely sad that I have to follow his mind to work�K he have no any sense of beauty honestly. Honestly he is a very nice guy but I really can��t work with him. I am thinking, maybe that is my problem, Am I really unable to work with others? I start thinking in a weird way�K.~~ maybe that��s the thinking of people who lost their confidence�K.

I was trying hard to do a lot of exercises but still don��t feel very good. I swim a lot but still very slow, I play crappy basketball�K it seems that I am very untalented in sport lerh�K. Also I can��t really communicate with others in English lerh�K what a shame�K I do need to speak more�K but I really don��t interested in talking to those people I know�K I really need to meet more design people�K.

I have nothing in my mind�K I am empty and dry�K has it ever being filled up, I really can��t remember. So upset lerh~~ I think I do need to read more books and doing something more thinking exercise�K

I m physically very satisfy. I can eat whatever I want, I have not much desire to buy things�K I am happy with the house I am living�K BUT I am still living with in pain�K am I thinking too much?

I do need to do something with it!!! I do need a target to archive..!

mmmm think postive!!! otherwise, my whole mind will be munched....