Chaos

These 2 days, I m living in chaos...

I guess I looked okay... coz no one notice i m not alright... Actually I don't really know what i am doing,... seems like my soul have left my body going somewhere else... poor my body is just working hard to keep doing what I used to do, what i have to do. I have talked to some friends or mine... everyone think... just let him go.. what can you do... I shouldn't even have any hard feeling. But fuck that should or shouldn't... I just have feeling, I just upset.... I hate it happen... I just can't put it down. yup... I had it coming... what can I say, it's all my fault...... but maybe thats why I m confused.... I don't know what to do... what should i do... what can I do... somehow I have forseen this....

I am not thinking of you more than normal, but normally, when I think of you, I just smile to myself, and life goes on. But now I just can't.... suddenly seems that thinking about you more then anything... didn't I say you are handsome? I thought i did... maybe I just never say it to you, but do you know how many times i did in my brain, how many times i did to my friends... but whatever... everything have a date... an expire date... is this song again... I really can't remember too many song...

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there are too many voice talking in my brain... "you should give he a blessing and stop talking"..., "you should go back to the place belongs to yourself...", "you should wait for a chance and fight it back", "you wont be accepted again, dead your heart la... how you treat on him, do you still remember?" , " what you expect ar... his is having his new life lerh", "he've been waiting for such a long time... you just had it coming....", " no one would �i���A ga la"..., "even you go back, you can't make him happy", "friend la, friend ho ar... can last for longer", " you cannot make yourself to be what he want ga la....forget it la...." lalalla...~~~~ whawhahwhahw..... ahhahahahaha..... chi sin... what I am saying....

maybe if you read this.... you would laugh on me... you would think, chi sin... it is not hard time lerh... babe..

life should go on, that's what I have said.... haha.... I m happy that you said it back to me... but as i said... I still think it is not the end of the story... just need some time... we are not 2 parallel lines... we are not straight lines either... must be in some point.... cross each other....

or maybe you dont even want to read what I write again... I m such a un-honest guy... or.... jsut let me giving some shit talk here la... in Chaos ma... no one can help... no one can understand... no one... just myself...