Fucking stressful *____*

Recently, I can really feel the stress�K. I never have stress feeling that much for very long time probably, since I left college or since i came to London. Like all deadlines in the company were not that dead�K Everything was quite easy for me to finish. Um�K. before I��ve got the job in Pixi�K It has been a bit stress on job hunting but even I couldn��t find a job that time it wasn��t that bad... I could still work on some stupid job like waiter or something... But me, today, even refused the job of �G80/day (which is low in London) from Pixi for few days. Or maybe when people grown up a bit�K we have a bit more to think of�K I wouldn��t say I missed the feeling but I think I should have more stress. Otherwise, when the real panic comes, I may kill myself�K. Haha�K of cause I won��t�K. but maybe, you never know�K um�K. I do believe stress would push me a lot.

Again, everyone, I really want to go back to HK to work and see you guys�K but things just happened like this�K and I can��t just leave without trying my best. Um, actually same old problems�K leaving, staying, money matter, jobs + the show reel + I really want to start my own animation after the show reel done + the drawings + this time I really have a really dead DEADLINE on these things.. T___T. Or I will lose everything here (Actually I have nothing to lose here except you, u know? But it��s so heavy, so much).

Maybe also, I don��t want to put more stress on you. It seems that if I bring out the things, no one can help well you can��t anyway. When I see you stressful like this, how can I add some more on? um�K. Still have 3 weeks�K. Can I get it or not?? Not too far to know (not close enough though). (I think you won��t see it until you really finish the project haha�K. and you will not be as stress as now ^_^�K and you will be able to comfort me a bit�K. Such a good calculations! :D)

Thanks for listen to me Tracy�K I really felt alone and didn't know who to talk to.... wanted to cry if it wasn��t you to talk to me ^_^. Even you were at work, you still keep me talking�K. Yea�K. I do need to bullshit a bit last night�K. Love you~~ always�K~~~

After talked to Tracy, reminded myself it��s not the first time that I live with someone that I can��t be working at night. haha yup�K again, I can��t work at night�K I hate this feeling�K I can��t say anything though; I am not in my own place. (I didn��t say a word last time even i was in my own place indeed) I think I have to be considerate. (Not living in own space is one of the most stressful things in life!) Well�K sleeping is basically nothing to me�K.. So I really can��t imagine how important it is to others�K and since I can��t imagine, it is even much scary for me to disturb other people sleep�K. Hell�K. I don��t want to sleep�K it is such a waste of time�K um�K. I know I know�K it probably as worse as I have lost my glasses. I can see (um�K feel) how important it is. Um... ok, sleep.... My first pirority is still considering... If I have done something inconsider to you guys... pls forgive me la... sometime people are selfish or careless... haha... I tried my best ga la...

You know when people are in bad mood, all the poor things would come back to your head�KIt was a fucking bad feeling last time after I talked to Daat daat�K. Supposed it was a joke, I guess�K But it was just so hurt�K Hey come on�K I am not such a slut�K. I can��t see how good it is to be with someone who you do not entirely love neither�K I do love�K at least I define it as love although it probably different from yours. And it is important to me�K I mean Stef is important to me�K. I felt totally no respect in that conversation�K. T___T It is so uncool to judge someone��s love life in this way�K. -_- especially a good friend like you�K.

Um�K I should celebrate a bit actually. I am really learning things from Stephane!!! And it will be more if I stay for longer I am sure�K ^_^... love u~~